July, 23, 2011

It's a beautiful morning in Decatur, Alabama! I'm sitting outside of our hotel room waiting for 10am to roll by so we can take off to a water park! This past week of camp in Elizabethtown, Kentucky was so incredible for so many reasons. We were working with the children's ministry director, Ms. Ashley, who is one of the most beautiful, Godly women I've ever met. She is constantly bursting with the love and joy of the Lord, she is always looking for ways to serve others, and she always puts herself last. As I've been taking time this summer to study the Proverbs 31 definition of character, I've been so blessed to be able to look to her as an example. I hope I am that type of woman one day! Throughout the week, we were just loved on in so many ways. They prepared dinner, lead us in a awesome evening of worship, and invited us over to one of their home to use the pool one evening.

Camper-wise, the week was a bit different than the rest of my summer. I had 8 kids, 3 of which said they were Christians. The other ones constantly seemed distant and detached from everything we were talking about. I do feel like they opened up a little more and more each day, but at very small increments. By Thursday, a few of them had gotten really honest with me about bullying problems, disabilities, and other issues they were struggling with. It was so difficult to hear because I know I can't change the outside circumstances in their lives. I tried to make team time a place where they could ask questions and be honest. By Friday team time I was praying that God would just use my mouth to speak words that would touch the kids in some way. I was reminded of his love for them and that I am just a snapshot of the work he is doing in their lives. I prayed that seeds had been planted or watered that week. Friday I told them I'd stay back in the room while a volunteer took the group to the bathroom, in case anyone wanted to talk or pray about anything. Preston, a little ball of energy with the thickest country accent I've heard all summer, wandered out with the group but turned and shyly came back in after everyone had left. "Well I guess I'm the only one who's gonna pray with you," he explained as he giggled to himself.

I was ecstatic. This week I was taught that lives can be impacted by gospel, even if decisions are not made, and even if every child seems distant and removed. But the moment of having the privilege of praying with Preston yesterday was a gift.

Not a sparrow will fall to the ground apart from the will of your father... So don't be afraid; you are more valuble to God than a whole flock of sparrows! Mt 10:29,31

I think this is such a vital truth to keep in mind... it's been so comforting. Sometimes I just want to fix all of the crap going on in these kids lives, but I can't. I am completely and utterly incapable of altering their outside circumstances, and at times it's just frustrating! This week, especially, God has been humbling me and reminding me that He loves these kids so much more than I ever could. If he chooses to use me or not, I need to be 100 % surrendered to his direction.

He's been teaching me the same thing with my sister. Yes, I love her and want to protect her, but I am completely incapable of changing her circumstances. I need to trust that God loves her and has her back no matter what.